Where Angels Fear to Tread One

On behalf of the group :writers--club: I present ye with a heavily opinionated critique. Of course. Mr Obvious alert!

Now-now-now, I'll start with an anecdotal paragraph. I love the taboo in this and how it is loosely - yet, at the same time, strictly - executed. Most notably after the "f***ing creepy" part. I laughed. Reminded me of a friend. The name, Mason, too, just adds to this 'badassary' of a man. Great combo. His dialogue, as seen in the first few paragraphs, is a bonus to the reflection of his aggressive personality. And I use aggressive in a positively good and humorous way. 

Okay, done, anecdotes over. 

The opening was brilliantly written. Honestly, if I had to create a bleak setting using rain and a somewhat rundown city, I don't think I could have done any better than what you did in such a short space and with such little words. The sentence structure, as well, at the beginning, is clever. There were two ways you could have gone about it. Long sentences or short. You went for long sentences. I metaphorically cried inside. Of joy. Many writers, by their own personal and respected preference, use short sentences when writing. That's fine. But using long sentences, and your piece of writing is a good example of this, adds a psychological twist. When we see full stops, our mind stops. We're conditioned to stop at full stop. Just. Like. This. But if I'm like this and I'm writing away using many conjunctions to extend my now-seen example that any reader who is reading this has just fallen into, then you see that it's a lot to take in. The weather in this piece of text... was a lot to take in... for the character. See where I'm going with it? A psychological trick with words.

Just to spare you from a wall of text, I'll leave my critique here. Out of 10, I'll give you an 8.

Good job! Keep writing.